To the grieving mom

National Pregnancy and Infant loss Remembrance Day was last month. But sometimes it’s the words of encouragement when you don’t expect it that leave the biggest imprint on your heart. Especially since this month we are focusing on being thankful, I’m going to take the time and boldly say that I am thankful. Thankful for the experiences that caused deep pain, because they brought me closer to my Savior. They allowed me to know him in a way I never had before.

Yes, I’m thankful for the pain, because it broke me down and tore my pride. It made me realize that my strength is not my own but His. And in His supernatural embrace I found peace, joy and rest.

So to the hurting mom who is still mourning her loss, I offer these words of comfort and pray they lift you up. You are not alone….

Though the empty feeling is one you are constantly fighting, there’s one that’s fighting for you. You are not alone.

He’s there to embrace you when the sadness comes. When thoughts of what could have been start to plague you, He reminds you the best is yet to come.

Don’t let the pain build a wall but rather let it break you down, so you can receive all He has to offer. He will not fail you.

This life is temporary. The pain is temporary. And one day there will be no more of that.

We will be in God’s presence, fully secure that nothing will keep us away. There will be no more sorrow, no more pain, no more crying. No more aching heart. Only God in his infinite love.

But while we are all here on earth, He is with us. He promised not to leave us, and He always keeps his promises.

Let him fill your life in abundance with joy, laughter, and the desire to keep going.

Don’t give up, he’s there.

Don’t give up, you are not alone.

Though you may feel misunderstood, he’s seen every last detail and he understands.

You’re not crazy, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are just facing the process, and you will get through it.

You’re not alone, God is there. He is love and his love is enough.

It NEVER fails.

He is good, even when he gives bad.

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When there are no words that comfort, no strength to hold us, no embrace that brings us peace, He is there and He is good. In that moment when our heart is in tears and we struggle to be strong because that is what we are “supposed to do”, He is there and He is good. When deep breaths andĀ suppressing emotions feel like the only way to make it through the day, and when we “know” He will never leave us yet feel so isolated and misunderstood. In theseĀ moments in life that bring us pain we are not meant to handle, He is GOOD.

We need pain. It is what breaks us down and points us in the direction we need to go. Right into God’s loving arms. The earth is screaming in pain. Pain that you and I may not see but can experience through what God allows into our lives. We never want it, we run from it, and we sure don’t understand it. But through it all He is GOOD. And in His goodness He takes us through the process to perfect what He is doing in us.

No one likes to talk about the process. The ugliness of it, the questioning, the tears, the desperate longing to reach the end. Yet in the midst of our suffering God continues being God. No amount of pain can take away from who He is. And He is a GOOD God. His word says “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” (Psalms 105:4). In Him we WILL find the strength.

I currently walk through my own process as I deal with the pain of suffering a third miscarriage. My heart aches still as I watch my children play and long for the three who “should have been”. Yet after struggling and questioning there was nothing left to do but surrender. Surrender to the process that He wanted to take me through and allow me to discover more of who He is. And I saw more than ever that His goodness is eternal.

If you are going through a painful process, know that he is holding you, even when you have stopped holding on. Let his work be perfected in you and see the beauty in the process. He is infinitely good, even when he says yes to the pain that comes. His word assures us that his love surpasses all understanding. And love is fueling his every stroke in our lives. Believe in His goodness, even when He brings you pain.